Merry Christmas, from the once-was youth of music

Look who's sexist now.

Get it? Candy-Ken.

Presenting: The Muppets on Queen.

With the recommendation of my Pop Culture class.

That's why God invented spell check and grammar

Now that I'm back in academia, I find it quite difficult to understand those that choose to continue their education, yet refuse to make use of it.

I use the "trusty" website Rate My Professors before I sign up for classes. Not my idea of a credible truth-engine, but I'm looking for the inhumane, self loathing professors to avoid (they exist, don't waste your money).

As an English major, I am frightened to read the kinds of things that students contribute to this site. The positive comments are useful, but the spite toward a professor because he/she is "hard" is kind of ridiculous. Perhaps these students are spending their money on an "education" rather than a shrink to vent to.

It is frightening that students cannot construct a sentence. I leave you with screen shots. Focusing on the second review, I am curious how this person found the energy to put forth the effort to write these god-awful few sentences and not into his costly classes. I may be wrong - this person could be an out of state student, from the South perhaps, and "comprehansion" and "bad at taken class" is just the way he talks with an accent. I never knew that a teacher could be so bad for being analytical. Hmm...I'll be sure to base my decision on this review.

The worst part is the thousands of California residents that are unable to attend a State University because there are people like this clogging up admission.If you are unable to see, it reads as follows:
"Overall, he's a good professor if and only if your great at grammar, learning comprehansion, attendance, and test taking. He's very unhelpful, and analytical. Moreover, he only gives 2 test and ocouple of quizes that are somewhat hard. If your a freshman or bad at taken class don't take it. He will fail you."

I better buy another one, you know, just in case.

This is a serious collection of Hawaiian shirts.

Kick the Habit.

Is the problem the media, or is it the social media?

If you know me, you know that I am an advocate of social media... to an extreme which some may find irritating.

Twitter works best for my business, Blogger works best for my banter, and Facebook combines my personal life with all of the above. On a different screen, I watch South Park and Family Guy. I’ve listened to music like Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails and the like that have been blamed for tragic incidents of slaughter and violence in the United States.

However, I haven't kicked or killed anyone! I am in my twenties, in college, am an aspiring entrepreneur, I volunteer and am active in my community. So what am I doing wrong?

In my original post about Facebook back in March, 2009, I put up my middle finger to Mark Zuckerburg for changing the format of Facebook as a way to become more user-unfriendly. This was on behalf of the Baby Boomers that had entered the world of Facebook. They were as confused as William Blake's infant coming out of the womb. However, I admit that the Baby Boomers, or at least the ones I am "friends" with, have managed to contribute to the productivity of the social media world. Let's face it, we are a product of the people we popped out of. Our elders do have insightful things to teach us. It has been a nice, interesting change to read posts about older musicians rather than Lady Gaga and her bloody way to fame.

In my last post, with all of the changes Facebook has implemented in the past five years, I quietly mentioned that the system incorporated High School kids into the mix. At the time, I cringed at the thought. Why can't Facebook remain exclusive to college kids? It made so much sense. I could avoid the awkward moment of meeting my roommate for the first time and deciding which side of the room to covet – I could contact that guy from my math class for homework. The torture of the social world in high school was brutal enough. Thank you, Mark Zuckerburg, for relieving me, slightly, of my social anxiety. With so many group projects assigned in college classes, Facebook became another branch to integrate college kids from all around the world to the same, what we now call "network."

High school. Wake up. Get into your car (that is registered in Daddy's name). Drive to school. Secretly sneak off of campus to smoke a cigarette. Go to class. Pass notes. Talk shit about that girl during lunch. Leave trash on the table for somebody else to pick up. Drive home. Complain about dinner that mom made for you. Whine when Dad says you can't go out. Minimally attempt to do your homework and talk on the phone for an hour and a half with your BFF about nothing. My apologies if I missed the occasional soccer practice.

With such productivity, it is clear as day how children contribute to Facebook. Pardon my cynicism; I will get to the point. What do you think of when you hear "Kick a Ginger?" In 2005, South Park came out with "Ginger Kids," episode #911 (ooh, symbolism!) from season 9. Yea, go YouTube it - or see a personal commentary by a red-head dude and the South Park Clip here.

America, home of the free, now enables children to create official days of celebration - or dismay. According to Facebook groups and events, this past Friday, November 20^th was the official "Kick a Ginger Day." On Friday, children with red hair, pale skin and freckles were beat up. Why? Well, because of South Park of course! This has nothing to do with freewill. It’s TV I tell you!

I watched the clip. It's funny. The red-head jokes are funny. Shall I analyze the two minute clip of absurdity? But first, let’s ignore "Token," the black kid that opens the scene with his solar system project. Also, pay no mind to Mr. Garrison, who is now Mrs. Garrison and focus on Cartman, who presents his project on "Gingers." Also, please ignore Kyle, the Jew, who speaks up for kids with red hair. This episode is funny in the way South Park is intended to be funny. It is a satirical social commentary on what our society has sadly evolved into. It states the obvious and the truth, and most importantly, its intention of providing a moral stance on each story is executed successfully. I also recall that the show is rated for a "mature audience."

Is your kid mature? Creativity is not taking television and interpreting it into an official day of violence. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE PARENTS?!

The article linked above has to do with somebody I know. His child is the mentioned victim of “Kick a Ginger Day.” How did I find this out? He is one of the Baby Boomers that I am “friends" with on Facebook. Ironic, isn't it, that the kind of information he must relay on Facebook is that of the repulsive behavior his child was subjected to by other children? Most importantly, his news is spread through the very same device that caused this horrific event.

I'm sorry, Mark Zuckerburg, I didn't realize that Facebook was intended to be a form of family therapy that brings parents and their children closer together. Closer together as in discussing acts of violence caused by the misuse of the same program. Why are children on Facebook? What value are they creating?

Dear Parents of young misfits & Mark Zuckerburg,

Get children off of Facebook. Get them off of the Internet.

Give them a goddamn book.

I recommend the following authors: Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and Daisaku Ikeda

You look like I need a drink.

I have been doing tons of marketing research in L.A. learning to adapt to the sun, plastic people, poor drivers and trying to find the ways of becoming successful. How do I become famous like L.Lo and such?

L.A. is a drastic scene switch from my hipster land of Brooklyn that I miss oh-so-much. Silverlake and Echo Park hipsters are frightening. First, their hair is way better than mine, they need a vast improvement on their "vintage" wardrobe (May I shamelessly plug My Grandma's Closet) and their black swollen eyes from "nose candy" cannot be justified when bars close at 2AM.

But I have to fit in, right? So I ask myself, what do all of these Los Angelenos have that I don't?
Then it dawned on me! D.U.I!

(ellipses)

How can I make this happen? It's Friday, 5PM, the work week is done. I have to endure the 405 freeway traffic all the way home and how will I ever have time to get boozed and dressed with enough time to enjoy my 2AM curfew night?

Never underestimate the innovative.
Drive Thru Fast Food. Drive Thru Starbucks. Drive Thru ATM. Drive Thru Pharmacies.

And now, the validity to drinking and driving.

What flavor are you?

For all you suckers that are stuck with no costume, try me on for size.
My friends call me Franzia.
What flavor are you?But wait, there's more

Thanks, Mik, my contributions director.

What's up in heaven?

I'm pretty sure everyone forgot that Michael Jackson died now that the TV has slowed its roll and it is no longer cool to mourn the King of Pop.

So I thought I would just remind you all of the legend we lost. Eddie Murphy, I feel for you.



Thanks Katy and Mik*

Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?

Thanks Mik.