All of their friends are dead.

Speaking of bizarre books, here's one that hits home. A witty way to tell the truth.

"If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead.
If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy.
If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables." -Amazon

Introducing a sneak peak inside of

All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen & Jory John

How many surprises?

Mommy, where do Children's Books from from?

In my most recent summer school session, I took an English course on the topic. I learned psychological methods behind the making of "Children's Books," and also was informed of the official list of books that have been deemed too controversial. This list, of course, was mostly composed by the parents of America, infamous for hypocrisy (Sarah Palin-type absurdity).

First, let's point out that the genre was and still is written by adults. These writers decide what to incorporate into their books based on the current day ideological standards that are deemed appropriate and entertaining for children of all ages. I suppose it is appropriate to control the minds of our future in this way. Weren't we all at one time a child gaining knowledge and experience through these books?

I suppose we can pass down censorship to our future generations in the same way it was imposed upon us as children. As children, it's nearly impossible to deny ourselves of adult dictatorship. It's the price we pay for having our asses wiped for so long. It may be appropriate then, to continue letting adults decide the shit comes out of our brain too.A few months ago, I stumbled upon an old reading book at a garage sale that sent me on a nostalgia cloud back to the first grade. I was pretty sure that this book was the very book I had learn to read from. After flipping through the book, I'm not so sure. Many Surprises, part of a Developmental Series from 1949 is indeed frightfully filled with MANY surprises.

Go End Love, OK?

This is what Astro Bright American Apparel looks like in nature.

What's your policy?

Am I perpetuating this advertisement? That isn't my intention. Rather, I wanted to discuss a serious matter. Can you please forget about today's natural disasters, economy, and your (lack of a) job - for a just one moment?

Today's blog entry is about the importance of owning life insurance. Now, don't get depressed and start agonizing all of the ups and downs in life, and please do not scrutinize over another thing you can't afford.

Death is permanent. Life insurance is eternal. When Accuquotes asks, "If you died today, who would take care of your family?" the real question is, "If you died today, who is going to buy this really rad tombstone that says, 'FATHER' on it?"

Food for thought.

An act of God.

I want to say that "bad things happen to good people," but I would only do that to be cliché. First, I don't particularly believe in that statement, and also, I don't know who the owner of the vehicle is and whether or not (s)he can be categorized as "good.".

Let's just say, "BAD SHIT HAPPENS."

I slept through the wind last night and failed to hear this tree crash down outside of my window. There is good news and bad news. The bad news is that most insurance companies claim this to be an "Act of God" - providing no coverage. The good news is (other than no one being in the car at the time), GOD HAS SPOKEN!!!

Now that my semester has (finally) ended, it is good to make use of my knowledge. I learned a lot about the Will of God this semester. And boy, he must be mad.

Right Hand :Blue Skinny Jeans

And just when I was worried I would be too old for childhood games...who need twister when you have hipster? Photo taken from Unique LA show/festival/party at the California Mart.

If that's talent, all I need is to be rich.

It's a good thing I moved to L.A. when I did! According to the New York Times, "Silver Lake [is] the Los Angeles counterpart to Brooklyn’s Williamsburg."

Well, now that that's official, I must pioneer the movement of the Los Angeleno hipster, but how?

After long google searches, "how to be a hipster in L.A." I came across this Craigslist ad:Reality Show Casting Silverlake Trendsetters (Silverlake area)
A new Reality Show is casting Silver Lake's rich, wealthy, hipster GUYS and GIRLS 21-30 whose personal style is homeless chic: Guys with beards, ratty hair and raggedy yet stylish clothing – and Girls dressed in fashionable, vintage hippie-type garb accessorized with large sunglasses and oversized tote bags. You must be incredibly involved in the Silver Lake social scene, enjoy a sensational nightlife Silver Lake style and be very outspoken with a vivacious personality. You must also hang with a racially diverse, intriguing group of friends who all live in Silver Lake. If this sounds like you please call 772.245.0665 or email realtvproduction@gmail.com for an interview.

Folks, for all of you that do not know how to be cool, this craigslist ad
S-P-E-L-L-S I-T O-U-T F-O-R Y-O-U:
1. Label yourself a hipster. Labels are the only way to know who you really are.
2. Guys - never shower. Gals - read up on your favorite "green" blogs - if you want to be hippie, you have to love the world...and fashion.
3. Diversity in IN - get rid of that racist persona, find some friends different from you, quick.

I could go on, but I'm bored. Unfortunately, I don't fit the criteria of all this. I am not wealthy enough to go under the knife and come out with all of these qualities.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR THE "HIPSTER GRIFTER"! Last seen in Williamsburg, she's destined to be in Silver Lake. The quintessential hipster - I'd rather see a reality show about her anyway.

Playing House is still fun.

Let's Play House.

I can be the P.E.T.A, "I wear frog skin instead" Mommy, and you can be the Byzantine, blond, angsty teenage daughter who gets a red tattoo on her face as the new chastity belt.

According to Refinery29, "Veik, a 29-year-old doll "player" from Beijing, has been giving ol' Barb some pizazz, styling them after some of Lady Gaga's most memorable outfits." See her FLICKR Gaga Stream here.

Oh Lady Gaga, where were you when I was young?

When I look in the mirror, I see a potato.

She's a fifth grade teacher and a mother of five in Sacramento, California.
She qualified for Wheel of Fortune.
She guessed "Self Potato" when the answer was "Self Portrait." When she looks in the mirror, what does she really see?

Let's applaud another "normal" person gaining their "15 minutes" in embarrassing ways.

WATCH:

This woman clearly coined the new expression in our living language.
The Huffington Post came up with a Quick Poll: What do you think a "self potato" is?
1. man-on-crop loving
2.a recipe for potatoes from "Self" magazine
3. to pull open one's shirt and apply butter, sour cream and chives
4. a verb meaning to turn yourself into a fat slob

Are you calling me fat?

When I lived in Williamsburg, there was a billiard across the street from me. Through the blackened window were pool tables and daily/ nightly nonsense. One day, the billiard mysteriously became a barber shop - Joe's Barber Shop. Instead of squinting into a darkened glass with cigarette smoke and flying 8 balls behind it, I found myself walking home to find bright lights shining out of a new, fully exposed front window and chairs filled with (mostly) men getting their hair cut. The cutting went on as late as midnight. The catch - every so often I caught a glimpse into the back of the shop - a subtle entrance to a room of people playing pool. Shady much?
With the help of the most directionally savvy person I know, I was introduced to the most wonderful gelato in all the L.A. land (within the vicinity). A little place hidden next to a Rite Aid in Altadena called Bulgarini Gelato is rated highly on Yelp - according to a review from November, 2009, "The Lemon Cream gelato was crazy delicious." How could you go wrong? When I arrived, however, it was deserted. When I pressed my nose against the window, it was official. The store was closed... today. The catch - the shop is never open. Ever! Well, barely anyway.
Is Bulgarini Gelato protesting against the recession by surviving only a 16 hour week? Or, are they pretending to be closed? The speakeasy-esque gelato store is "closed" Monday through Friday. Shady much?
Just my luck, I happened to have fallen into the 71% of closing time. Perhaps there was a back door that I missed - this can't be right - is "Lemon Cream Gelato" code for something?