Even Dr. Seuss knew the economy would collapse.

With Sarah Palin clogging up our TV screens and blaming Hollywood and the media for such a faulty country, I would like to continuously thank both Hollywood and the media for its continuous attempts to help America wake up and smell the recession.

Rumors can spread, but with the help of Universal Pictures and Dr. Seuss, Hollywood will create a renovated lesson plan that history does in fact repeat itself. Planned to premier in 2012, the 1971 character Lorax is being recreated in 3D.

According to Variety, “The Lorax” has a timely “green” theme. It is narrated by a greedy entrepreneur who, despite warnings from the tree-loving Lorax, strips a forest of its stock of Truffula trees to manufacture clothing. The results are catastrophic as all the animals leave and nothing’s left."

What could be a better fit than this during our current green age of fraud, failure and f*ck-ups?

If the 3D affects don't knock it in full gear for you, please note: if Sarah Palin runs for President in 2012, the results would be catastrophic and nothing would be left.

Lounge Act

Dear Kurt,
I am sorry we never had a chance to meet.
Nevermind.

Who has the better ratings?

If you watched the Daily Show tonight, you would have nodded "so true" to Jon Stewart comparing Sarah Palin to Doogie Howser. I thought I'd go digging up for more.

This round is the Barracuda vs. Doogie.
(click image to enlarge)

Thank you, Wiki.

Other Republican Posts:
The Art of Quitting, a memoir by Sarah Palin
Politically Tone Deaf
When all else fails
McCain can't pole dance
The truth comes out
History books are the new Calvin and Hobbs

The Art of Quitting, a memoir by Sarah Palin.

"And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins."
-Sarah Palin, farewell to governing Alaska

Palin is no stranger to the act of quitting. Yesterday was the official end of her reign as Governor for the state of Alaska. To quote Jon Stewart, "[Palin] loved [Alaska] so much, she had to let it free."

This isn't the first time the 45-year-old "Barracuda" has walked out on her obligations. Before she brainwashes the red part of our country in 2012, let's reflect on her accomplishments.

1. Palin was elected to the city council of Wasilla in 1992 and 1995. Wasilla city councilors serve three-year terms. Palin did not complete her second term on the city council because she was elected mayor in 1996.

2. As the mayor of Wasilla, in 1996, Palin introduced abortion, gun rights, and term limits as campaign issues. Term limits in the Wasilla Municipal Code proscribe candidates from running for more than two consecutive terms (a nice way out).

3. Palin chaired the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission in 2003, serving as Ethics Supervisor. Alas, she resigned in January 2004, protesting what she called the "lack of ethics" of fellow Republican members.

4. On July 3, 2009, Palin announced at a press conference that she would not run for reelection in the 2010 Alaska gubernatorial election and would resign before the end of July. Palin argued that both she and the state have been expending an "insane" amount of time and money to address "frivolous" ethics complaints filed against her.

It's great to know that in each leadership position the smiling hockey mom holds, she's quick to hit the puck in her own goal and skate away.

Lots of sourcing from Wiki

Other Republican Posts:
Politically Tone Deaf
When all else fails
McCain can't pole dance
The truth comes out
History books are the new Calvin and Hobbs

Lanky is the new dance move.

A Good Day To Die.

I have a friend (newbie to L.A.) in town wanting to see the stars. So we hopped the 101-S to Hollywood and walked in the 105 degree heat to take a peak.

Passing the Graumans's Chinese Theater, we happened upon a crowd of people and could barely get through to the other side. What could they all be looking at?
But of course, it was the King of Pop and his star!! Filled with flowers, photos and letters, we found it to be a lovely, overbearing memorial.
We then thought it would be best to continue our walk and see how other fans celebrated recent celebrity passings.
We found Farrah. Alone. Clearly her star was so crowded that the fans were evacuated from the premises. Or... is there another explanation?

PBR is just economical.

Here is a shout-out to my Brooklyn buds. I thought it was appropriate after getting two drunk dials this Tuesday evening.

PS, This guy totally ripped off your sweatshirt.

Picture courtesty of Guidespot.

Silence is Golden.

Do you have tickets to the gun show?

According to the Associated Press,
"Lawmakers are considering a bill [in Arizona] that would allow anyone with a concealed-weapons permit to bring a handgun into bars and restaurants serving alcohol."

Not to worry, there is always an exception. The gun-owners aren't allowed to drink! Whew! It's so nice to know that there is no danger. It's a good thing that rules can't be broken.

This round is the NRA vs. Bar Owners. Which side are you on?

"These laws are common sense, restaurants are not immune to criminal activity. Law-abiding people — regardless of whether they're in restaurants, cars or homes — they should be able to protect themselves against criminal attack." -NRA spokeswoman Rachel Parsons

"This might be one of the stupidest things that I have heard of. Can you think of a single reason guns and alcohol should be intertwined?" -Owner of Pomeroy's bar in Phoenix

Dear Merriam-Webster,
In researching the state of Arizona's crime rate, I found that while the population has steadily grown in the past 40+ years, so has the violence and murder.

That being said, please come up with a new word or phrase more fitting for this story. "That's the stupidest f*cking thing I have ever heard" just won't cut it.

----------------------
More absurdity:
Guns and Roses with no Axe

Red Balls.

Cocaine in a can.

Just say no. Jean on Jean of the week.

Triple Jean.

Another two Michaels with issues.

"Douche-bags are hygienic products; I take that as a compliment. Thank you."
- Wet Hot American Summer.

This summer looks dry as 'Coop' (Michael Showalter) and 'McKinley' (Michael Ian Black) continue the humor and will come out with their T.V. series called "Michael and Michael Have Issues" next week.

Watch W.H.A.S first, then take a look at the series preview for yourself.

Michael & Michael Have Issues	Premieres Wed, July 15, 10:30pm / 9:30c
Preview - Greg the Intern
http://www.comedycentral.com/
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Nostalgic for New York

In my disposable camera days, I was threatened by a passerby to not take photos in the subway. Alas, there was no consequence. Do you know which subway stop this is?

Here's to unemployment.

Just Toast and Hashbrowns no eggs, please.

This resume was submitted to a high end restaurant in Portland, Oregon. Little Miss Sissy was wearing a Hello Kitty backpack and was very serious about finding work in the area. She also wanted to be sure you know that her middle name is Peaches. Do read on.

Politically tone deaf

"If this is geared for her run for the presidency in 2012, it is one of the most politically tone deaf decisions that we've seen"
- Stuart Roy, a Republican consultant on Sarah Palin's decision to step down as Alaska's Governor.

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Other Republican Posts:
When all else fails
McCain can't pole dance
The truth comes out
History books are the new Calvin and Hobbs

God Recess America!

Happy 4th of July!

Pit Stop to Portland

Welcome to the Pacific Northwest. Portland, Oregon.

What better time to explore with 93 degree weather, hills and green.

New York, the 30 days of rain just didn't cut it for me.

Brooklyn Park Pub, Brooklyn.
$3.50 Whisky Ginger.

Broder, Clinton Street
Swedish food, amazing.

Bowling on Powell.
Bar. Double doors lead to pitchers of beer.Fire on the mountain, East Burnside.
Sweet BBQ, Jamaican Jerk, Hot, Raspberry Sauce.A concept. Public Bus.Dive Bar Clinton Street.
So true.

Who's Bad?

Finally, some propaganda with style.
Michael Jackson Style.

Cut & Sewn has an exclusive series of MJ tribute shirts. Only for a limited time, catch 'em while you can!