Are you calling me fat?

When I lived in Williamsburg, there was a billiard across the street from me. Through the blackened window were pool tables and daily/ nightly nonsense. One day, the billiard mysteriously became a barber shop - Joe's Barber Shop. Instead of squinting into a darkened glass with cigarette smoke and flying 8 balls behind it, I found myself walking home to find bright lights shining out of a new, fully exposed front window and chairs filled with (mostly) men getting their hair cut. The cutting went on as late as midnight. The catch - every so often I caught a glimpse into the back of the shop - a subtle entrance to a room of people playing pool. Shady much?
With the help of the most directionally savvy person I know, I was introduced to the most wonderful gelato in all the L.A. land (within the vicinity). A little place hidden next to a Rite Aid in Altadena called Bulgarini Gelato is rated highly on Yelp - according to a review from November, 2009, "The Lemon Cream gelato was crazy delicious." How could you go wrong? When I arrived, however, it was deserted. When I pressed my nose against the window, it was official. The store was closed... today. The catch - the shop is never open. Ever! Well, barely anyway.
Is Bulgarini Gelato protesting against the recession by surviving only a 16 hour week? Or, are they pretending to be closed? The speakeasy-esque gelato store is "closed" Monday through Friday. Shady much?
Just my luck, I happened to have fallen into the 71% of closing time. Perhaps there was a back door that I missed - this can't be right - is "Lemon Cream Gelato" code for something?