If that's talent, all I need is to be rich.

It's a good thing I moved to L.A. when I did! According to the New York Times, "Silver Lake [is] the Los Angeles counterpart to Brooklyn’s Williamsburg."

Well, now that that's official, I must pioneer the movement of the Los Angeleno hipster, but how?

After long google searches, "how to be a hipster in L.A." I came across this Craigslist ad:Reality Show Casting Silverlake Trendsetters (Silverlake area)
A new Reality Show is casting Silver Lake's rich, wealthy, hipster GUYS and GIRLS 21-30 whose personal style is homeless chic: Guys with beards, ratty hair and raggedy yet stylish clothing – and Girls dressed in fashionable, vintage hippie-type garb accessorized with large sunglasses and oversized tote bags. You must be incredibly involved in the Silver Lake social scene, enjoy a sensational nightlife Silver Lake style and be very outspoken with a vivacious personality. You must also hang with a racially diverse, intriguing group of friends who all live in Silver Lake. If this sounds like you please call 772.245.0665 or email realtvproduction@gmail.com for an interview.

Folks, for all of you that do not know how to be cool, this craigslist ad
S-P-E-L-L-S I-T O-U-T F-O-R Y-O-U:
1. Label yourself a hipster. Labels are the only way to know who you really are.
2. Guys - never shower. Gals - read up on your favorite "green" blogs - if you want to be hippie, you have to love the world...and fashion.
3. Diversity in IN - get rid of that racist persona, find some friends different from you, quick.

I could go on, but I'm bored. Unfortunately, I don't fit the criteria of all this. I am not wealthy enough to go under the knife and come out with all of these qualities.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR THE "HIPSTER GRIFTER"! Last seen in Williamsburg, she's destined to be in Silver Lake. The quintessential hipster - I'd rather see a reality show about her anyway.

Playing House is still fun.

Let's Play House.

I can be the P.E.T.A, "I wear frog skin instead" Mommy, and you can be the Byzantine, blond, angsty teenage daughter who gets a red tattoo on her face as the new chastity belt.

According to Refinery29, "Veik, a 29-year-old doll "player" from Beijing, has been giving ol' Barb some pizazz, styling them after some of Lady Gaga's most memorable outfits." See her FLICKR Gaga Stream here.

Oh Lady Gaga, where were you when I was young?

When I look in the mirror, I see a potato.

She's a fifth grade teacher and a mother of five in Sacramento, California.
She qualified for Wheel of Fortune.
She guessed "Self Potato" when the answer was "Self Portrait." When she looks in the mirror, what does she really see?

Let's applaud another "normal" person gaining their "15 minutes" in embarrassing ways.

WATCH:

This woman clearly coined the new expression in our living language.
The Huffington Post came up with a Quick Poll: What do you think a "self potato" is?
1. man-on-crop loving
2.a recipe for potatoes from "Self" magazine
3. to pull open one's shirt and apply butter, sour cream and chives
4. a verb meaning to turn yourself into a fat slob

Are you calling me fat?

When I lived in Williamsburg, there was a billiard across the street from me. Through the blackened window were pool tables and daily/ nightly nonsense. One day, the billiard mysteriously became a barber shop - Joe's Barber Shop. Instead of squinting into a darkened glass with cigarette smoke and flying 8 balls behind it, I found myself walking home to find bright lights shining out of a new, fully exposed front window and chairs filled with (mostly) men getting their hair cut. The cutting went on as late as midnight. The catch - every so often I caught a glimpse into the back of the shop - a subtle entrance to a room of people playing pool. Shady much?
With the help of the most directionally savvy person I know, I was introduced to the most wonderful gelato in all the L.A. land (within the vicinity). A little place hidden next to a Rite Aid in Altadena called Bulgarini Gelato is rated highly on Yelp - according to a review from November, 2009, "The Lemon Cream gelato was crazy delicious." How could you go wrong? When I arrived, however, it was deserted. When I pressed my nose against the window, it was official. The store was closed... today. The catch - the shop is never open. Ever! Well, barely anyway.
Is Bulgarini Gelato protesting against the recession by surviving only a 16 hour week? Or, are they pretending to be closed? The speakeasy-esque gelato store is "closed" Monday through Friday. Shady much?
Just my luck, I happened to have fallen into the 71% of closing time. Perhaps there was a back door that I missed - this can't be right - is "Lemon Cream Gelato" code for something?

The Thumb Book has done it again!